The package or baggage?

This whole site closure thing is really taking a lot out of me. I am beginning to think that the compensation package is crap. For the insecurity and the stress I am in, the money does not help my emotions. Maybe that is why I have a headache or feel nauseous.

If the site closure did not happen, I don't need to go throw this at all.

Look, I am in the scientific arena. Face it, I do not have a PhD. Even for those who have found it tough in the academia. I have been doing science for 8 years. I was finally breaking through. FINALLY. And I enjoyed my peers and work environment. Now I am forced to leave my comfort zone and start all over. I need to start establishing myself again. This is absolutely frustrating.

I had it all planned out. A steady job. Interesting, enjoyable, family-oriented. I crumple at the thought of losing my ambitions.

Compensation package. You are a financial bonus. But a worthless vessel for the state of my current soul.

2015 - A brighter future; I believe My God

Wow. It was 2008 since I last blogged on this site.
I pretty much think I have lost all viewship.
A recent event has got me started with some writings. I guess I needed to release it somehow.


"The site is closing."

The news hit like a harsh gush of wind hitting against a metal pole. A shocking news but harmless to the listeners. It felt like a joke. I left the room with the bunch of employees. Majority of us were laughing. Delirious, perhaps.

 

Nobody saw it coming. Not even the management. Perhaps I did when some annoucements were made. But even then, I won't be prepared for what was to come.

 

Groups of people gathered. The leaders in disbelief. The employees in disbelief. Some were angst up about the company, some towards individuals. Weird ones like me thought about my work.

Wished that it was a nightmare that I would wake up from. I enjoyed my work, my peers, my environment, my prospect, my ...

 

I became saddened about the reality. I was so going to miss the close friends I have made. We teared. We hugged. We had fun at our last party.

 

Days, weeks, almost a month went by. Lost. Confused. Insecure.

 

And then the atmosphere changed. I accepted the reality. So did the majority. People were moving on, each fending for survival; planning for the future.

 

Experiments?! What experiments?! I have a job to find. And so it began. The job search. Sent 1, 2...3...10... 20...... And how many more?

 

It has been a rollercoaster ride. Emotionally sick.

 One would go on a search and see something really interesting and apply. Hopeful and excited one would press the "submit" button.

 

But time dragged by with either rejection emails or worse, no news at all.

 

It's a painful and depressing. It is not just about the job search. But it is also depressing on my self-esteem. Am I not good enough? I thought I was. At least I knew what I could offer was potentially useful to my current company.

 

I had gotten my letter of notification. My time is ticking. I am sad. I am stressed.

 

I only have one triumph card and that is My God.

Christmas Carol Set 2 (2009)

Instructions for Carolers of EXPO 9.30am Dec 25

Please memorise lyrics and be sure of parts before practise date!!

Note that absentees for practice(s) may not be able to serve for actual Christmas carol 9.30am 25Dec.

Practise dates:
First Practice:
19 dec 2009 saturday 9.30am-12pm
Venue - Expo Foyer 3

Second practice (if needed)
21st Dec 2009 monday 7.30pm
Details to be confirmed. Please come back to visit. tx.


Set 2 Song Order

~ Guitarist to start with ‘F’ chord.
1. Joyful Joyful
~ Finish song. Allow crowd to clap
~ 4 muted strums into next song
2. Santa Claus / Sleigh Ride
~ Intro 1 round = 4 chords. Start with ‘Dashing thru the snow’
3. Jingle Bells (Sing 2 x)
~ Repeat last line only once ->dragged. Enter next song straight
4. Rudolf The Red-Nosed Reindeer
~ No repeat of last line. Straight into ‘You’ll Go Down In History’ dragged.
~ Into next song – 4 times ¾ beat
5. Silent Night / I Will Follow Him – Medley
~ Next song – 2 rounds intro
~ Conductor to ensure proper tempo
6. Winter Wonderland
~ End with ‘Walkin in a winter (x3) wonderland’
~ 2 round intro for Jingle Bell Rock
7. Jingle Bell Rock
~ Last line repeats are done by Guys, then Gals, then Altogether.
~ End this song. Wait for applause.
~ Guitar to jam into next song
8. I Wanna Wish You A Merry Christmas